Student recounts experiences of domestic abuse

When it comes to celebrity couples like Chris Brown and Rihanna, what kind of message are they sending  to their fans about domestic violence?

There are many religions that teach us that we are supposed to forgive others. You can forgive but I don’t think you should go running back to them with open arms as if it never happened; especially, after they used you as their personal punching bag.  No one deserves to be treated like that by a significant other.

Being college students, many of us think this will never happen to us. I for one thought this could never happen to me. Two, years ago, I didn’t know what I was going to do when I allowed an ex-boyfriend to physically abuse me.

It started with him having a problem with who I hung out with, especially male friends. Next, he didn’t like certain family members. This should have been a red flag in the beginning.

He was controlling and manipulative.  One day we got into a disagreement about something petty and he hit me. For many people that would have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Just like the typical abuser, he apologized and bought all kinds of gifts. I was young and in love and like a fool I forgave him.

Overtime, the mistake of hitting me became a repeated pattern every time we got in argument. I, like so many women, would make up excuses, blame myself and wear make- up to hide the bruises.

The one thing that made me realize that I had enough was when he hit me in front of our friends. It is one thing to hit someone behind closed doors but to openly hit you in public is another story.

When someone starts hitting you in public that means that they don’t care about you or themselves. If they willingly hit you in public then what’s to stop them from doing something much worse?

Lucky for me my situation never escalated into a Chris Brown and Rihanna scenario, but nevertheless it was not a healthy relationship.

I broke up with him and like so many abusers he still kept coming around and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He wouldn’t leave me alone so I decided to remove myself from the environment completely.

I transferred to Winthrop University and haven’t looked back ever since.