Student lists least desirable relationships for students

By Seth Goldwasser

I’d like to start this piece with a disclaimer. I am not an expert on relationships, nor have I studied any type of sociology outside of my own personal experience. The following piece is comprised of my opinions on the subject of romantic relationships based on nothing more than my personal experience.

There are three types of relationships: good relationships, bad relationships and terrible relationships. Sometimes they can change from good to bad and vice versa. 

There are, however, several set characteristics of each relationship. The worst relationships are easily identified, as are the best. The middle or grey area in between the worst and the best are harder to find characteristics for, but are more common among people. 

Terrible, or as I like to call them, “psychotic relationships,” are those that seem to make no sense to anyone except the partners of the relationship. 

Many of the issues come from co-dependency from one or both partners to each other. 

Simply put, I believe the beaten wife that goes back is obviously dependent on the husband who beats her for some kind of fulfillment. Another tell-tale sign is a complete lack of trust and understanding. 

If you don’t know if your partner is true and faithful or if you can’t understand what they want or how they want it, then communication is extremely difficult. A lack of communication is therefore damaging to both partners.

A great relationship is hard to find. I consider them to be diamonds in the ruff. Ironically enough, the aspects of those relationships are commonly harped-on in western culture. A truly wonderful relationship starts with a solid foundation made of trust and faith, kind of like building your house with the foundation of a rock. Two individuals must form this foundation. Independence within a relationship is vital to its success. It is then the task of the participants to understand and build trust with each other through process of communication. 

The more you get to know your partner, the more you understand them, and the more you let your partner know about you the more you trust them.

Finally, the most essential piece of a great relationship is intellectual engagement. The greatest relationships are those that stimulate the mind, not with just affection, but with an active engagement of higher thinking and problem solving between the two partners. 

 Now for the middle group, those relationships that share aspects of both the terrible and the great. These relationships can be lacking in any number of areas, due to any number of circumstances. 

A lack of trust, understanding, communication, mental engagement or faith can strain a relationship, but a lack of all of them will destroy it. A good relationship is hindered by dependence from one or both partners.

You can be with a great partner, but neediness on their part or yours is a run-to-excuse for a break up. 

The moral of the story, for this author, is to identify the causes and effects of good and bad relationships, and find ways to improve your relationship in yours and your partner’s own way.