Columnist asks pot smokers not to get behind the wheel

By Jared Epps 

I don’t have much of an argument against the legalization of marijuana, nor do I believe that most people can offer a legitimate reason for continuing its prohibition, either.

 The only reason I’ve heard that I can sympathize with is that legalizing marijuana would add yet another hallucinogen for people to use behind the wheel of a vehicle. Thinking like that, however, puts weed and alcohol on the same fundamental level, which makes it that much more questionable to see that only the former is illegal.

 There are a lot of reasons as to why it’s still illegal, a few of which are actually pretty reasonable and worth examining, but I think the big one is that the “war on drugs” is ridiculously profitable for private prisons; there is an absurdly large number of people that get imprisoned on drug charges, especially marijuana possession, and these people serve as incredibly cheap labor for private prisons.

 If anyone has anything to gain from this stupid “war on drugs”, it’ll be the private prison industry. You can bet the hair on your bum that the industry will continue bribe our lawmakers for as long as they can to keep marijuana illegal.

 It’s Capitalism, baby. Money buys everything you need, especially the law.

 If there are real economic concerns for the average citizen about legalizing marijuana, then I’d like to be educated on that issue.

 Please, for the love of your god or gods, don’t try to give me an abstract reason like “smoking is a sin” because once you go down that road, you might as well ban everything that isn’t directly related to your personal cult.

 I’ve heard these kinds of arguments before, but once people start bringing their deities into the political system of a secular government, the concerns and reasoning of humans gets thrown out the window.

 Oh, and for a creationist that thinks smoking is a sin: your god made marijuana plants, so shut the hell up.

 Again, if there are legitimate, tangible reasons as to why marijuana should stay illegal, then I’d seriously like to know. 

From what I can tell, it’s usually a bunch of conservative twats that hate the fact that other people are having more fun than they are.

 Even though I’m going on about marijuana, I honestly just don’t care enough to seriously lobby against or for it. I’m perfectly fine if people want to use weed, as long as they don’t operate motor vehicles for the duration of their highs.

 It’s just not really important to be to see marijuana gloriously legalized or banished to the doldrums of prohibition. 

As far as I’m concerned, there are other ways to relieve stress or to chill out, and I’d probably rather do those things anyway. 

Besides, I have more relevant things to worry about, like the right wing’s covert destruction of America’s middle class, or why the African-American community is largely god-awful.